Peering at my schedule, I face a daunting week. Tomorrow I must awaken early and finish some laundry before it all begins. At first I will head to the bank then Game Stop to allow for a small little indulgence (the newest Pokemon was just too enticing). This will be followed by a trip to Redding, where I will start filming. I am told this weekend will be the tightest thus far, due to the combination of long set ups, complicated tech, and very emotional scenes. I then will likely stay with a friend of mine up at Storrs Mon/Tues/Wed because I film all those days as well. Meaning I likely won't be home till Thursday morning. Alas, I have an 8 hour day of work Thursday (getting off at 7), followed by the same on Friday. Meaning I technically won't be free till next week.
While I like being busy, I don't really like having such a rigid schedule. I like fluidity because, truth be told, I'm a bit whimsical. I like having the freedom of flexibility. Oh well, I guess I have to get used to it, growing up and all. I don't know, though, I just feel like I'm right at that point where I could make a big mistake and 'grow up'. I don't mean maturing, but rather settling on my lot in life. It's the biggest thing I'm afraid of. Last time I felt like I knew what life had in store for me it sent me spiraling into a deep depression. While security is comforting, I want to be surprised and excited about life.
Not to say that life doesn't have its surprises. It does, and it seems that lately when monotony sets in there is usually something small to rattle the cages. It's just something else I'm looking for. Maybe adventure. "Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things." *sigh* I think of all things this is why I'd make a good Jedi.
It's times like these that make me appreciate what I have in life though. For what bitching I do, I have to say I feel like I'm a very fortunate guy. I'm healthy, I have a decent family and caring friends, I'm relatively intelligent and creative, I have a good job, and I'd like to think of myself as fairly good looking. There are a lot of things I take for granted. At the beginning of this past school year I made a promise to myself that I'd no longer take friends for granted. In that regard I think I did fairly well. For the past week, though, I haven't really had the chance to hang out with my best friend, Victor. It's a bit disappointing because I wont be able to again until next week. Oh well, at least I will hopefully get that.
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