I have to write a paper on an observation about human behavior. It can be any human behavior I observe, and the fun part to add to that is the fact that its an opinion paper. Science and logic be damned, this is an excuse for me to actually say something without thinking I don't know enough to say something of merrit (although I feel the same about most others people as well).
I've decided my short little paper will be on desire. I once heard someone say "there are two types of people, those who go after what they want, and those that don't", and that statement carries with it the assumption that as a species we all desire something. What does it mean to want something? How does it affect us? How has the modern world shaped our desires? Is it possible to free our selves from desire? These are all questions I'm going to try to tackle in this paper, which eventually I'd like to post here. While you all aren't that excited, I am. It's the first time in about a year I've had to write a paper and I miss it a bit.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
On Improv, part 1
I thought it was about time I wrote about improv. While I don't think of it as a passion, looking at my involvement in it and what not qualifies it as such I suppose. Hell, I've considered it as a career, so yeah...
Anyways, I'd like to compile a little bit of an autobiography for my experience with improv, cause why not? When I was a kid, Whose Line Is It Anyways? was always one of my favorite shows. I remember a few times (usually in the back of a bus on school trips) I'd try some of the whose line games with friends, and tended to do fairly well with them. It wasn't hard being funny and being in 7th grade at the same time, though. Just have to make a dick or outlandish sex joke and you're solid.
Throughout high school I never did theatre or anything like that. I had always wanted to try it, to see what it was like, but I was always a bit intimidated by it, so when I came to college I never expected I'd do anything close to it. I had first heard about the Agents of Improv from the posters they had. I almost went to their first show, but my schedule conflicted (think it was Chem lab). It wasn't until two of my friends (Liz and Brenna, and I met Dan through them) had joined Agents that I wanted to try it. I thought they were pretty funny, and Liz and Brenna kept talking about how much fun it was.
Then one day, sitting in my usual seat in the lounge, Dan happened to run past me. He was on his way to improv and he invited me to come. Thus began the dark chapter in my life that will likely land me an E!True Hollywood Story. It was definatly intimidating at first. My first day was the day the Agents pulled off their Mobeus. Everyone was talking a mile a minute and bouncing off the walls. I was the only new guy in the room, and besides Dan, Brenna, and Liz, I had only seen these guys on stage (talk about a wierd feeling, it felt like some kind of mockery of reality). They started with their business, while I sat their, not quite sure what was going on. I think everyone is a bit disoriented at first, just because Agents isn't quite like many other clubs you'll find. It wasn't until Ted (our former MC) had mentioned that he'd like to be able to get a gorilla costume for a new form of improv that I was fully inducted into the Agents.
"I have a gorilla costume." I said after raising my hand. The room went fairly quiet and they all stared at me in surprise.
"Welcome to the Agents!" Ted ran over and started shaking my hand, "Come, sit over here in the center of the group."
Business quickly concluded and then games began. Since my first meeting was an advanced practice (before they became audition only) I didn't really play that many games as opposed to did exercises. It was a lot at once, but becuase everyone was involved with them at once, I didn't have the pressure of being center stage. Eventually, though, it was time for my first scene. We were doing work on status and I was paired up with Emily. The game was we both had to be as high status as possible (there are nuances with this, that unfortunatly I've been too wordy to get into an explanation of here). I just so happened to be wearing a blazer and can be somewhat of a pretentious bastard if the mood strikes, so I lucked out. My first scene went really well, and that felt awesome.
My second scene, however, wasn't that great. The current MC of Agents puts people up on stage with intention. Other than games like Freeze and Questions only, I have yet to see an entire scene comprised of people with little to no experience. He usually has at least one person with some experience up there. He has good reason to. My second scene was with Kyle, who himself was new at improv. It was a really awkward scene that seemed to last forever. I had to demonstrate the characteristics of a snake. While I could likely list off a ton now, when I got up on stage all I could think of was talking in a lisp (and a horrible one at that) and flicking my tongue, occasionally adding a wiggle. The scene bombed, and the high I had from my previous scene was instead replaced by a bout of self consciousness.
I kept going to more and more meetings, occasionally getting up for a scene here or there. There would be times where I'd get some laughs, times when there would be silence, and I personally would range from flying on clouds to feeling like pure and utter shit. Improv at first does that, so don't worry about failure. Honestly, all the fuck ups I had were worth it. It was rough, but it taught me get over my stage fright. Hell, no one really gave a fuck if I screwed up. They'd give me some advice if I asked for it and then go about their games. It's a shame there are so many people currently. Don't get me wrong, its great for the group, but its harder for everyone to get a chance to go up or perform.
It was after another scene with Kyle that I had experience carrying a scene. When you're new its often fairly hard to be in charge of a scene. Most people just stand in the sidelines and let the experienced people make shit happen, waiting for a chance to interject a quip here and there. This time, however, I had to carry the scene. I had no clue what to do, and I just kind of blanked. The thing was, my mouth just kept moving (much to Kate's dismay, it has yet to stop). I didn't think about what I was saying ahead of time, instead I almost did pure word association. Looking back at it, I adopted a character (in this case, it was just the trait of being purely apathetic), and just stuck to it. I didn't think, I improvised, and it felt really fucking amazing! After you get compliments on a scene afterwards nothing can quite compare to how much of a badass you feel.
Anyways, since this is pretty long I'll write other parts as time goes on. I'll really start getting into tips and techniques in the next one.
Anyways, I'd like to compile a little bit of an autobiography for my experience with improv, cause why not? When I was a kid, Whose Line Is It Anyways? was always one of my favorite shows. I remember a few times (usually in the back of a bus on school trips) I'd try some of the whose line games with friends, and tended to do fairly well with them. It wasn't hard being funny and being in 7th grade at the same time, though. Just have to make a dick or outlandish sex joke and you're solid.
Throughout high school I never did theatre or anything like that. I had always wanted to try it, to see what it was like, but I was always a bit intimidated by it, so when I came to college I never expected I'd do anything close to it. I had first heard about the Agents of Improv from the posters they had. I almost went to their first show, but my schedule conflicted (think it was Chem lab). It wasn't until two of my friends (Liz and Brenna, and I met Dan through them) had joined Agents that I wanted to try it. I thought they were pretty funny, and Liz and Brenna kept talking about how much fun it was.
Then one day, sitting in my usual seat in the lounge, Dan happened to run past me. He was on his way to improv and he invited me to come. Thus began the dark chapter in my life that will likely land me an E!True Hollywood Story. It was definatly intimidating at first. My first day was the day the Agents pulled off their Mobeus. Everyone was talking a mile a minute and bouncing off the walls. I was the only new guy in the room, and besides Dan, Brenna, and Liz, I had only seen these guys on stage (talk about a wierd feeling, it felt like some kind of mockery of reality). They started with their business, while I sat their, not quite sure what was going on. I think everyone is a bit disoriented at first, just because Agents isn't quite like many other clubs you'll find. It wasn't until Ted (our former MC) had mentioned that he'd like to be able to get a gorilla costume for a new form of improv that I was fully inducted into the Agents.
"I have a gorilla costume." I said after raising my hand. The room went fairly quiet and they all stared at me in surprise.
"Welcome to the Agents!" Ted ran over and started shaking my hand, "Come, sit over here in the center of the group."
Business quickly concluded and then games began. Since my first meeting was an advanced practice (before they became audition only) I didn't really play that many games as opposed to did exercises. It was a lot at once, but becuase everyone was involved with them at once, I didn't have the pressure of being center stage. Eventually, though, it was time for my first scene. We were doing work on status and I was paired up with Emily. The game was we both had to be as high status as possible (there are nuances with this, that unfortunatly I've been too wordy to get into an explanation of here). I just so happened to be wearing a blazer and can be somewhat of a pretentious bastard if the mood strikes, so I lucked out. My first scene went really well, and that felt awesome.
My second scene, however, wasn't that great. The current MC of Agents puts people up on stage with intention. Other than games like Freeze and Questions only, I have yet to see an entire scene comprised of people with little to no experience. He usually has at least one person with some experience up there. He has good reason to. My second scene was with Kyle, who himself was new at improv. It was a really awkward scene that seemed to last forever. I had to demonstrate the characteristics of a snake. While I could likely list off a ton now, when I got up on stage all I could think of was talking in a lisp (and a horrible one at that) and flicking my tongue, occasionally adding a wiggle. The scene bombed, and the high I had from my previous scene was instead replaced by a bout of self consciousness.
I kept going to more and more meetings, occasionally getting up for a scene here or there. There would be times where I'd get some laughs, times when there would be silence, and I personally would range from flying on clouds to feeling like pure and utter shit. Improv at first does that, so don't worry about failure. Honestly, all the fuck ups I had were worth it. It was rough, but it taught me get over my stage fright. Hell, no one really gave a fuck if I screwed up. They'd give me some advice if I asked for it and then go about their games. It's a shame there are so many people currently. Don't get me wrong, its great for the group, but its harder for everyone to get a chance to go up or perform.
It was after another scene with Kyle that I had experience carrying a scene. When you're new its often fairly hard to be in charge of a scene. Most people just stand in the sidelines and let the experienced people make shit happen, waiting for a chance to interject a quip here and there. This time, however, I had to carry the scene. I had no clue what to do, and I just kind of blanked. The thing was, my mouth just kept moving (much to Kate's dismay, it has yet to stop). I didn't think about what I was saying ahead of time, instead I almost did pure word association. Looking back at it, I adopted a character (in this case, it was just the trait of being purely apathetic), and just stuck to it. I didn't think, I improvised, and it felt really fucking amazing! After you get compliments on a scene afterwards nothing can quite compare to how much of a badass you feel.
Anyways, since this is pretty long I'll write other parts as time goes on. I'll really start getting into tips and techniques in the next one.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Had some wierd dreams last night. Not the bad kind, like I had at the start of the semester. No, I had some crazy ass nightmares but they were fun, all with monsters and shit. Giant invisible ameobas eating people, absorbing the psyche of telepathic ex-rivals, and being in the middle east running from their scary as fuck spiders; all of it good times. Sleep wasn't really restful, but I wasn't tired when I went to bed so I still feel fine.
This abundence of energy resulted from deciding "why not go to the gym?" at 10:15 last night. You see, this was brought on by the fact that I realized I won't be going to capoiera this semester. My schedule only affords me one night a week for it, and so far I've either had hw or the like to do at that time. I have to make up for it somehow (don't want to, in Jess's words "become a fatty") so I decided the gym will be a good idea, and damn it was. Timing, though, could have been a bit better. After I spent a while at the gym, I found a game of hackey sack, and I can never turn down a game of hackey sack. After everything was all said and done, I made it back to my dorm at 12:00.
This may not seem so bad, but mind you I had an 8am the next day. An 8am I managed to sleep through till about 10, living out some crazy ass dreams. Looking at the time now, I should get up and start living out my crazy ass reality.
All the best, world
Jake
This abundence of energy resulted from deciding "why not go to the gym?" at 10:15 last night. You see, this was brought on by the fact that I realized I won't be going to capoiera this semester. My schedule only affords me one night a week for it, and so far I've either had hw or the like to do at that time. I have to make up for it somehow (don't want to, in Jess's words "become a fatty") so I decided the gym will be a good idea, and damn it was. Timing, though, could have been a bit better. After I spent a while at the gym, I found a game of hackey sack, and I can never turn down a game of hackey sack. After everything was all said and done, I made it back to my dorm at 12:00.
This may not seem so bad, but mind you I had an 8am the next day. An 8am I managed to sleep through till about 10, living out some crazy ass dreams. Looking at the time now, I should get up and start living out my crazy ass reality.
All the best, world
Jake
Monday, September 24, 2007
Free Association
The night still seems young, but the people have retreated to the solitude of their beds ages ago. In this quietest of hour I can only hear that one stirring question that has been haunting me...
I decided to write something else stream of conscious. I usually only do so when something is bugging me, but since I've never done one while I was fine I thought I'd give it a shot.
It's been in my head all day: I want to hold you close, and I want to tear you apart. It's not rage that I feel, not even mild iritation. Instead I feel free to do as I please, and in my wake leave a wave of mutilation. Have I at last found my voice? Who knows, give it time. That snooty legalise didn't suit me, I was just too busy worrying about sounding knowledgable and reasonable. Mmm...going to tear you apart. Hmm...is that what I want? To dominate? Sounds kinky, might be my bag. I'm not really afraid to seem to forceful anymore. It's a good thing, since I'm starting to think I was self conscious because I didn't want to seem to competative or aggressive. Some days you just have to tear them apart, and in your bloodlust give a smile because you've won. Even if you didn't win, at least you came at them like a berzerker, and for at least one brief moment you made them afraid.
Hehe, that was fun but all hell of crazy. I need to listen to some metal more often.
I decided to write something else stream of conscious. I usually only do so when something is bugging me, but since I've never done one while I was fine I thought I'd give it a shot.
It's been in my head all day: I want to hold you close, and I want to tear you apart. It's not rage that I feel, not even mild iritation. Instead I feel free to do as I please, and in my wake leave a wave of mutilation. Have I at last found my voice? Who knows, give it time. That snooty legalise didn't suit me, I was just too busy worrying about sounding knowledgable and reasonable. Mmm...going to tear you apart. Hmm...is that what I want? To dominate? Sounds kinky, might be my bag. I'm not really afraid to seem to forceful anymore. It's a good thing, since I'm starting to think I was self conscious because I didn't want to seem to competative or aggressive. Some days you just have to tear them apart, and in your bloodlust give a smile because you've won. Even if you didn't win, at least you came at them like a berzerker, and for at least one brief moment you made them afraid.
Hehe, that was fun but all hell of crazy. I need to listen to some metal more often.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
And to post something more meaningful and substantial, I had a bit of my realization today that the horoscope predicted. Well, not predicted (since I think that stuff is shit), but one I specifically looked for because of said horoscope. This revelation came about while I was thinking of famous fictional villains. Very rarely do we ever see anyone who is truly evil (so much so that I do not believe in evil). Sure, the villain may seem to be evil, but from his perspective he was doing something just and necessary. They percieve a problem in the world around them that has gone unnoticed.
While these self-righteous crusaders think they are tackling a problem present externally, the issue really lies within. To give an example, emo-boy Anakin from the new Star Wars movies.
Anakin believed that the democracy of the Republic didn't have the power to stop injustice. The government had allowed slavers to prosper on the fringes of its borders, for large corporations to buck the law with little reprecussion, and see the entire legislative body become bogged down by bureaucracy. This inability to affect change could only be solved through greater central power.
The weakness he percieved in the Republic was actually a projection of his own feelings of helplessness. He had a certain expectation for himself that he could often not live up to. He was raised to believe he was some chosen one, but with all this power he believed he had he never had control over his life. As powerful as he was, he couldn't keep his mother from dying.
What he simply couldn't do was accept that fact that he didn't have control over his life. Instead of finding fault in himself, he blamed others for holding him back. He blamed others for being weak and ineffective.
To make all this Star Wars bullshit seem relevant, I realized that often times the problems we percieve in others are actually faults with ourselves that for some reason we haven't suspected in ourselves. A few years back I had thought that everyone I knew was discontent with their lives, and the simple bullshit we do day to day such as drinking and what not was merely to cover up that void. It took me a little while to realize that it was actually me who was depressed and felt my life was meaningless, and it was after I realized that I was able to help me address the problem. I still get depressed, but its likely a chemical thing. I do handle it a lot better than I did back then, though. That is why, from now on, whenever I start to think I see an underlying trait in people all around me I try to look internally first. Usuallly, that is where the problem really is.
While these self-righteous crusaders think they are tackling a problem present externally, the issue really lies within. To give an example, emo-boy Anakin from the new Star Wars movies.
Anakin believed that the democracy of the Republic didn't have the power to stop injustice. The government had allowed slavers to prosper on the fringes of its borders, for large corporations to buck the law with little reprecussion, and see the entire legislative body become bogged down by bureaucracy. This inability to affect change could only be solved through greater central power.
The weakness he percieved in the Republic was actually a projection of his own feelings of helplessness. He had a certain expectation for himself that he could often not live up to. He was raised to believe he was some chosen one, but with all this power he believed he had he never had control over his life. As powerful as he was, he couldn't keep his mother from dying.
What he simply couldn't do was accept that fact that he didn't have control over his life. Instead of finding fault in himself, he blamed others for holding him back. He blamed others for being weak and ineffective.
To make all this Star Wars bullshit seem relevant, I realized that often times the problems we percieve in others are actually faults with ourselves that for some reason we haven't suspected in ourselves. A few years back I had thought that everyone I knew was discontent with their lives, and the simple bullshit we do day to day such as drinking and what not was merely to cover up that void. It took me a little while to realize that it was actually me who was depressed and felt my life was meaningless, and it was after I realized that I was able to help me address the problem. I still get depressed, but its likely a chemical thing. I do handle it a lot better than I did back then, though. That is why, from now on, whenever I start to think I see an underlying trait in people all around me I try to look internally first. Usuallly, that is where the problem really is.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
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