Thursday, September 20, 2007

And to post something more meaningful and substantial, I had a bit of my realization today that the horoscope predicted. Well, not predicted (since I think that stuff is shit), but one I specifically looked for because of said horoscope. This revelation came about while I was thinking of famous fictional villains. Very rarely do we ever see anyone who is truly evil (so much so that I do not believe in evil). Sure, the villain may seem to be evil, but from his perspective he was doing something just and necessary. They percieve a problem in the world around them that has gone unnoticed.
While these self-righteous crusaders think they are tackling a problem present externally, the issue really lies within. To give an example, emo-boy Anakin from the new Star Wars movies.
Anakin believed that the democracy of the Republic didn't have the power to stop injustice. The government had allowed slavers to prosper on the fringes of its borders, for large corporations to buck the law with little reprecussion, and see the entire legislative body become bogged down by bureaucracy. This inability to affect change could only be solved through greater central power.
The weakness he percieved in the Republic was actually a projection of his own feelings of helplessness. He had a certain expectation for himself that he could often not live up to. He was raised to believe he was some chosen one, but with all this power he believed he had he never had control over his life. As powerful as he was, he couldn't keep his mother from dying.
What he simply couldn't do was accept that fact that he didn't have control over his life. Instead of finding fault in himself, he blamed others for holding him back. He blamed others for being weak and ineffective.
To make all this Star Wars bullshit seem relevant, I realized that often times the problems we percieve in others are actually faults with ourselves that for some reason we haven't suspected in ourselves. A few years back I had thought that everyone I knew was discontent with their lives, and the simple bullshit we do day to day such as drinking and what not was merely to cover up that void. It took me a little while to realize that it was actually me who was depressed and felt my life was meaningless, and it was after I realized that I was able to help me address the problem. I still get depressed, but its likely a chemical thing. I do handle it a lot better than I did back then, though. That is why, from now on, whenever I start to think I see an underlying trait in people all around me I try to look internally first. Usuallly, that is where the problem really is.

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