I want a fuckin' quick fix for how I've been feeling lately. I feel completely irrational and its been like this for a while. I had a dream about my problem. That almost never happens. Never. It's why I guess I've been so restless at night. I think I'm going to be sick. Fuck.

And what the hell is it with me saying fuck? I'm getting a little sick of it as well. I've been using too much slang and what not because of the people I hang out with. Sometimes it feels good to say fuck, but I feel like a tool just for saying it. Tool, that's another word I only picked up around you people. Fuck it.

I think I'm being childish, just with everything lately. Fuck. That's all I can say. This is a tired rant filled with nonsense and bullshit, and no this isn't me being insecure. I fucking hate how I seem so goddamn insecure to all you people. Yeah, I can be insecure but for everyone who think that defines me go fuck yourself.

*sigh* Now that I thouroughly bitched and moaned I feel a tiny bit better. I know what's bothering me, but this isn't the place to deal with it. My problem is that I'm dealing with it poorly, I know I am, its just that I'm in a bad spot. Nothing I can really do but try to weather the storm. If I try to run away it'll all be for nothing. I guess the way I'm feeling might be a sign more for the good, at least if things pan out.

Sorry I'm being ambiguous, if you're reading this and just want to know more just contact me. I'll try to divuldge as much as I'm comfortable with.

Goodnight everyone